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Confessions Of An ASHAWO [Must Read] – We 

 All Have Secrets

We all have those intimate feelings of wanting to be loved by someone we can’t have; someone we desire only from a distance, as we secretly get to know him or her from the sidelines. Being a mistress is neither a side job nor an accident. It is an emotional and internal weakness we exhibit when we fail to find someone who lives up to the high standards by which we abide. Therefore, we willingly subject ourselves to this world of cheating.

What is the correct way to handle cheating when you know you are the source of infidelity between a man and his girlfriend. You probably fall for one of two types of men: the one who seeks another woman because he craves something new or the player who can’t sit still. Maybe you find it thrilling that you could become his next girlfriend. Regardless, this man is probably charming, smart and sexy — the type of man with whom you may desire to be, despite his girlfriend who stands in the way. The result is that you are just a number — a weed rather than a rose in his garden of love.

Statistics have shown an increase in male cheating due to a lack of satisfaction or boredom with stable relationships. According to University of Texas Psychology Professor David Buss, who conducted the largest US study on human mating, men crave sexual variety through neurological manipulation. We live in a society in which plastic surgery and growing media effects can affect our attraction to individuals, not just based on personality. Therefore, men feel justified using pathetic excuses for cheating like, “she isn’t what she used to be,” “she doesn’t understand me,” or “it’s thrilling.”

All of this — the of late nights, the sexting and whatnot with the mistress — allows the girlfriend to feel she matters least to everyone involved, which is sad, considering the girlfriend is likely to come out of the situation emotionally scarred the most severely.

Have you ever caught someone cheating? You probably wanted to strangle this person — your heart was racing because you didn’t want to believe it was true. You felt lost within because you didn’t feel good compared to “her.” But as you started to question whether or not your whole relationship was a mistake, you remembered that it wasn’t your fault. You are good enough and the person to whom you were closest compromised your trust. Not only does this not change who you, but it also does not change the fact that you deserve better.

Also, the mistress isn’t the only guilty party. Yes, she is guilty of having a relationship with someone she shouldn’t, but it’s not entirely her fault. Many women choose to enter adulterous relationships for the thrill and challenge, which is only compounded by the fact that the men are unavailable. It can also be a huge confidence boost. These women recognize that they likely won’t marry this man, but they enjoy the gifts — diamonds, flowers and all the luxuries — because it feels like an adventure or a fantasy.

But in the end, everyone loses. The lies pile up, the deception continues and ultimately, the cheater, the mistress and the girlfriend all may end up with nothing.  The entire affair becomes a period of time that must be expunged from memory.

The tangled web is an irreparable mess of devastation — not all fairytales offer a happy ending with a prince